Lasse kustjägare blir sjuksköterska!

Dagen gryr över den mysiga förorten Slaktarmossen, utanför den stora staden. Solen kastar sina strålar mot betongfasaderna och letar sig sig in genom fönstren för att väcka goda och onda medborgare, till en ny underbar dag i den bästa av världar.

I sin etta vaknar Lasse Kustjägare till liv med ett ryck i sitt Kerontält, som han har satt upp i rummet. Dovt morrande krälar han ur sovsäcken och gör etthundrafemtio armhävningar på knogarna, därefter på pannan ställ i en halvtimme och avslutningsvis några hundra karateslag mot diskbänken. Lasse avspanar terrängen efter fientliga aktiviteter, men ser bara ett tidningsbud och två förälskade katter i barnens sandlåda.

"Jävla skit" morrar han och beslutar att minera sandlådan, eftersom han hatar katter i allmänhet och kattungar i synnerhet. Sedan får han annat att tänka på. Idag är en stor dag för Lasse, han ska praktisera som sjuksköterska på Dödsskuggans långvårdssjukhus som ett led i sin omskolning. I början var Lasse besviken, för han ville hellre vara på en akutmottagning, där det är mycket blod och smärta. Men sedan lyckades hans handledare att övertala honom med argument om hur bra det är med före detta officerare med sin ledarskapsförmåga inom vården. handledaren antydde till och med om att det fanns långvårdsavdelningar som behövde ryckas upp. Åtminstone tyckte Lasse att hon antydde det.

"Ordning skapar säkerhet" vrålar Lasse och väcker därmed halva kvarteret. Sedan packar han uppdragssäck med lite nyttoprylar, som till exempel en wiresåg, överlevnadskniv, basker, regnställ, larmminor, reservproviant och en bildförstärkare. Han ger sig därefter av mot Dödsskuggans långvårdssjukhus. Väl framme imponeras Lasse av den stora byggnaden i sjuttiotalistisk betongdesign. Han tycker att den påminner lite om den Tyska Atlantvallen. "Hårt o tufft" tänker han och marscherar taktfast genom de ödsliga korridorerna till avdelning trettioett, där han med ett perfekt taktsteg anmäler sig för en översköterska med ett ljudligt vrål: "Översköterska! Sjuksköterskepraktikant Lasse anmäler sig enligt order!"

Konstigt nog blir inte översköterskan det minsta imponerad av Lasses anmälan, ej heller hans heroiska käkesframskjutning och välputsade marschkängor. Tvärtom betraktar hon Lasse med något som liknar skepsis, men det bekommer inte Lasse det minsta. Nu skall här skapas ordning. stället ska ryckas upp, det skall Lasse se till. Men när han får ut sin uniform blir han besviken. visserligen är den grön (om än i en mesig nyans) men designen är tokmesig och den lämpar sig inte alls för terrängförflyttningar eller hinderbana. Sedan blir det än värre när översköterskan försöker neka honom att ha sina kängor. Hon mumlar något otydligt om träskor men där går fan i mig gränsen för Lasse som fortfarande är i psykisk obalans efter besvikelsen över uniformen.

Klokt nog backar översköterskan när hon får se Lasses stålhårda blick och han får behålla sina kängor. Därefter bär det av till ett fikarum där Lasse presenteras för den övriga personalen på avdelningen, Lasse är klart upprörd. Bara kärringar som dräller runt odisciplinerat? och snackar skit, inte minsta spår av den mysiga manliga stämningen i ett plutonslag som förbereder sig inför en markstridsvecka. Bara detta jävla fikande och och ostrukturerade sladdrande. Men Lasse biter ihop, tids nog skall det skapas ORDNING. Bara den där häxan till översköterska försvinner. Lasse har noterat att hon blänger snett, så incidenten med kängorna är nog inte glömd för hennes del. Han biter ihop så det knakar och väntar tills morgonuppställningen, men när klockan blivit halv åtta och patienterna fortfarande inte ställt opp i korridoren, blir han mer och mer förvirrad.

Vad fan är detta? Ingen uppställning? Lasse grubblar förtvivlat. Till sist kommer överhäxan och förklarar att han ska följa med på något som kallas rond. Till Lasses klentrogna förvåning innebär detta att personalen går runt till patienterna istället för att dessa ställer upp för visitation. De flesta av de lata kräken ligger kvar i sina sängar och gör inte minsta antydan att kliva upp när rondstyrkan nalkas. Tvärtom verkar de ta för givet att att personalen ska hjälpa dem att kliva upp, tvätta sig och klä på sig. Det nästan svartnar för ögonen på Lasse när han betraktar detta avgrundshelvete av odisciplin. "Vänta bara!" tänker han, här ska bli andra bullar av.

När en äldre manlig patient klagar över smärtor i benen, rinner sinnet för Lasse. "Smärta är vekhet som lämnar kroppen! På pannan STÄLL!" ryter han och väntar på beröm för denna spontana uppvisning i ledarskap, istället blir det en ny incident med överhäxan. Patienterna har tydligen rätt att gnälla för skitsaker. Inte en enda av dem har någon anledning? fastställer Lasse. I hans begreppsvärld är det först vid förlust av kroppsdel som man möjligtvis kan betraktas som funktionsnedsatt och här ligger latmaskarna och piper för minsta lilla och dessutom har de mage att kräva att personalen ska passa upp dem. Allt beror på uselt ledarskap. Med stenhård disciplin och distans till packet skapar man den nödvändiga hårdheten, det vet Lasse.

"Det var hög tid jag kom hit"? tänker han och betraktar överhäxans nacke samtidigt som han fantiserar om hur hennes huvud exploderar efter en fullträff från en 5,56 projektil. Han bestämmer sig att uthärda fram till lunch och han blir knappt förvånad när patienterna inte behöver marschera till matsalen, utan serveras maten där de vill ha den. Jävla dalt! Efter lunchen ljusnar läget högst avsevärt när överhäxan lämnar avdelningen. Innan hon gör detta utser hon en handledare åt Lasse och förmanar honom att vara uppmärksam och läraktig. Lasse lyssnar knappt. Nu är det bråttom, han har bara sex timmar på sig att med hjälp av det nya ledarskapet styra upp avdelningen innan nattskiftet tar vid. Han misstänker att nattpersonalen är än mer degenererad än dagpersonalen. När han har säkerställt att överhäxan är på betryggande avstånd tar Lasse ett kraftfullt befäl över avdelning trettioett. Han samlar personalen i korridoren och förklarar den nya inriktningen. I början knorrar de ilsket och på sedvanligt civilt slöddermanér pratar de i mun på varandra och avbryter Lasse med oförskämda kommentarer. Men efter en kraftfull uppvisning av det nya ledarskapet och några snärtiga handkantslag över näsroten lär de sig snabbt lystringsgraderna, samt att inte ha händerna i fickorna.?

Nästa steg blir att få patientpacket att ställa upp i korridoren. Med det nya ledarskapet i färskt minne skyndar sig undersköterskorna och vårdbiträdena att så snabbt som möjligt tömma vårdsalarna på patienter. Lasse tar tiden och betraktar belåtet kaoset i korridoren när patientskocken förvirrat kacklar och personalen förtvivlat försöker rätta in rullstolar och droppställningar på ett led. Efter tjugo minuter låter Lasse en stålhård blick svepa över det brokiga ledet och tystnaden sänker sig. Efter ytterligare någon minuts effektfull tystnad från Lasses sida tar han till orda. Med kraftfull stämma meddelar han i orderform den nya dagordningen;

· 0500 väckning, städning

· 06:00 Marsch till matsalen för frukost i diskinlämningskön

· 06:15 B.R.A.K

· 07:00 Uppställning och visitation av personlig studs och puts

Därefter orderuttag inför dagen verksamhet. Sjukmönstring är överflödigt Lasse avgör vem som är sjuk. All utlämning av mediciner upphör. Patienterna skall lära sig att inte känna efter så förbannat. Med hjälp av fysisk fostran ska skall Lasse få bukt med alla jävla syltryggar och komatroll, som hittills bara legat och fisit i sina sängar. Hårdhet skapar ORDNING!

När Lasse tystnar hörs bara enstaka snyftningar. Personalen stirrar skräckslaget framför sig och patientskocken ser ut som klentrogna fågelholkar. Lasse konstaterar att han har truppen i sin hand. "Se så lätt det är bara man är bestämd och vet vad man vill. Det här skulle ni gjort för länge sen, jävla amatörer" morrar han till personalen som skräckslaget ryggar tillbaka. Efter uppställningen beordrar Lasse snabbmarsch för patienter och personal. Trots en lätt bana på två kilometer klarar ingen en femtio meter. Några simulerar till och med infarkt och ligger och skräpar i terrängen med droppställningar och kateter. Övriga piper och gnäller om diverse krämpor och någon har till och med mage att ifrågasätta Lasses rätt att ge order, men det löser han galant genom att beordra på pannan ställ. Om det är någon som inte klarar av detta så hjälper gärna Lasse till. En patient som knorrar om Socialstyrelse och ansvarsnämnd får klart för sig innebörden i termen "enskilt samtal" bakom en buske. Efter det har patienten fått reda på ett och annat om sig själv som han helst hade svävat i okunnighet om och han lovar sig själv att aldrig mer ifrågasätta syster Lasses omdöme, vad det än gäller.

När Lasse har fått nog av pip beordrar han uppställning på sjuksalarna för visitation av droppställningar och skåpsordning. Innan Lasse släpper iväg personalen och patienterna lär han dem skrika "JA SYSTER" på kommandot "UTGÅ". Visserligen blir det knappt mer än ett osynkroniserat pipande men Lasse är nöjd ändå. Han funderar så smått på att lära dem en klämkäck marschvisa, något om blod och död, och kanske till och med tvinga någon av undersköterskorna att sy en liten flagga som de kan ha när de springer snabbmarsch i sjukhusparken. Hur som helst har han åstadkommit underverk, det är han helt på det klara med. Ett embryo av disciplin skymtar vid horisonten tänker han och beger sig med raska steg till visitationen. Denna eftermiddag får patienterna lära sig innebörden i begreppet "skåpet kräks" och aldrig har väl droppställningar och bäcken varit så välputsade som nu. Enda smolket i glädjebägaren är en patient som hänger sig i duschdraperiet. Lasse blir ursinnig och beordrar undersköterskorna att tillverka en symbolisk gravsten, där svikarkräkets namn ristas in. Därefter beordrar han uppställning och femhundra armhävningar som straff för de övriga, för att de inte har någon gruppkänsla.

Mitt i alltihop dyker det upp några civilister som påstår att de ska hälsa på anhöriga som ligger på avdelningen men Lasse klarar ut att här liggs det det jävlar i mig inte längre och några besök kommer inte att bli förrän på "Sjukhusets dag" om fyra månader. Därefter larmminerar han entrédörrarna för att vara på den säkra sidan. Nästa moment som är duschning på tid resulterar i några benbrott när gamlingarna halkar på det blöta golvet, men det knäppande ljudet av urkalkade lårbenshalsar som bryts piggar upp Lasse. Ytterligare några namn förs upp på den symboliska gravstenen.

"Framgång utan offer är inte framgång! Smärta är en högre form av njutning" förklarar Lasse för de överlevande. Den här gången vågar ingen säga emot utan alla skriker lydigt "JA SYSTER!" Sedan rationaliserar Lasse bort eftermiddagskaffet och medicinutdelningen. Kaffe har ni inte gjort er förtjänta av får patienterna veta och mediciner är bara för veklingar. De Tyska och Ryska soldaterna vid Stalingrad fick utstå långt värre saker. Istället blir det på pannan ställ och jägarvila fram till middagsuppställningen. Under tiden ser Lasse till att personalen klipper sig och iordningställer fikarummet så att det liknar ett instruktörsrum. Givetvis tar Lasse ner gardinerna eftersom det bara är fjollor som har sådana. Istället lovar han att ta med några flaggor och maskeringsnät för att skapa den rätta känslan. Nu känner sig Lasse väl till mods. Allt går som han vill och han hinner till och med att rita en skiss till hur avdelningens flagga ska se ut.

Eftersom Lasse gillar döskallar så blir det en sådan med ett par korslagda svärd bakom. Efter en stunds tänkande byter Lasse ut svärden mot skalpeller. Det är ju faktiskt ett sjukhus det handlar om. Sedan är det där med devisen. Efter ytterligare våldsam tankemöda kommer han fram till "Tuff och hård in i döden". Lasses mamma skall få översätta det till latin nästa gång Lasse hälsar på hemma i Trollhättan. Nu är det dags att förbereda middagen. Lasses "instruktörer" väntar räddhågset i det före detta fikarummet och påminner mest om en samling radiakskadade överlevande från ett kärnvapenkrig. Det stör inte Lasse men han påminner sig om att ta med klippmaskinen nästa dag. Sedan jagar Lasse ut patienterna i korridoren för uppställning och utbackning vid matvagnen. Ytterligare två patienter har avlidit under den senaste timmen till följd av utebliven medicinering och Lasse blir arg igen. Att dö är den yttersta formen av simulans förklara Lasse. Dags för lite karvande i gravstenen igen.

Vid utbackningen får patienterna defilera förbi matvagnen för att få en skopa med med mat uppslevad på en tallrik och därefter får de ställa sig direkt i diskinlämningskön.? Äta får de göra under tiden. Några börjar pipa om att de vill ha matro men det stävjar Lasse snabbt med en berättelse om de Franska främlingslegionärerna vid Dien Bien Puh. De fick minsann ingen jävla matro när general Giaps artilleri malde ner deras ställningar till djungellera, så kom inte här och lipa jävla syltrygg. Bit ihop! som vanligt visar sig Lasses argumentationsteknik vara överlägsen. Med fakta kommer man längst, konstaterar han. Och duger inte det så går det bra med ett snärtigt handkantslag över näsroten. Således går middagen på rekordtid. Någon kräks på golvet men övertygas snabbt av Lasse om det kloka i att äta upp spyan. Några andra ser lite bleka och hålögda men det är ingenting att fästa sig vid. Efter middagen beordrar Lasse förnyad skåpsvisitation. Allt skall vara perfekt när nattskiftet tar vid. Och Gud nåde nattskiftet om inte allt är i preussisk ordning i morgon.

Lasse ämnar vara ett ledande föredöme i avseende patientdisciplin. För sin inre syn ser han sig själv som sjukhuschef när han tar emot patientmassornas hälsning när de defilerar förbi med vajande fanor. Lasse förlorar sig i drömmar. Men oj! Nu är det bråttom! Nattskiftet kommer om en kvart. Lasse jagar på sina underlydande och brölar: "Tio minuter kvar! Repetera!"

Paniken sprider sig men när nattskiftet gör entré står patienterna och personal uppställda på ett snörrät led, med sina krumma kroppar darrande av återhållen stress och dödsångest. Lasse gör en perfekt helomvändning och kommenderar med tordönsstämma : "GIV AKT!" Därefter lämnar han av till nattskiftets översköterska "Översköterska! Avdelning trettioett närvarande tjugofem plus sju. Frånvarande sex. Syltryggar! Avförda grupp noll-nio!" Översköterskan står bara och gapar. Fylld av beundran och tacksamhet, tänker Lasse. Innan Lasse beger sig hem lovar han avdelningen att det blir hinderbana i morgon och påminner om kommande skåpsvisitationer.

Hemma i sin lägenhet kryper Lasse in i Kerontältet nöjd med sig själv. Han beslutar sig för att komma tidigt till avdelningen i morgon. Klockan fyra blir bra. Tänk så mycket man kan få uträttat bara man vill, med ledarskap och stålhård vilja. Innan Lasse somnar hörs en explosion från sandlådan. Lasse skrockar belåtet

"En kattjävel mindre. God natt!"

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DUI allegations require complete total of the expert tricks commonly used in criminal defense trials. Defending a DUI is initiated by determining none of a persons constitutional rights are violated. Because law enforcement is in direct contact with you, and they are basically the single witnesses all of the time, their directions and MO is of the essence. We all have mis haps, and law enforcement are no exception. The Occasion starts when usual accusation that will progress to probable cause. For example, a person gets pulled over for driving too slow at 3 a.m.. A officer has the usual suspicion that someone has created a moving violation, passingon a double yellow. Now, when the cop begins to start eye contact or moves in closer to your automobile, the officer may point to the fact you have red eyes, or there is an smell of beer. This elevates the reasonable intuition of recklessness to providing the police a reason that someone may be crusing around while intoxicated. eighty% of officers will say smell of beer, red eye balls, or lazy speech. They will also insinuate you were fumbling about getting your id and insurance card out. At this point someone is likely told to get out from a ride and start standardized field sobriety checks. Those are SFST’s are learned under NHTSA (National Highway Traffic precautionary Administration) standardizations and need to be assumed per situation. If you do perform the tests, the cop may make mistakes which will have the check, or tests thrown out of from evidence. Factors such as physical impairments and optimal street conditions should be factored amoung the results of your performance. (i.e. a person can’t perform a jump and turn check on ramped pavement). A person may usually take a breathalyzer tests. There are irregularities in these machines as well, after all they are technolgo that need maintenance and trained on every day. The arrest is videoed at the instance the cop activates their lights. Through this captured evidence that we are able to base an experienced idea if the police administration of the tests, to the accused performance taking the checks. Whether you consent to the tests or not, someone may go to lock up. If you know someone that has been incarcerated for Driving under the inflence or any criminal charges or know some one who needs a criminal defense Attorney take a look at my website rgiht here [url=https://www.bouchardcincinnaticriminalduiattorney.com/practice-areas/property-and-theft-crimes/][color=#000_url]reinstatement office ohio[/color][/url] Have a great day

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22 Williamhig:

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29 Michaelkar:

Karate is a kind of Japanese martial art. It is one of the most widely practiced martial art forms world
wide. It depends on acute physical coordination and mental focus. Your message Karate actually translates to
empty open hands. In a far more deeper understanding, ‘te’ signifies
that your body is our main weapon, in place of swords, guns, or any object that is physically harmful.
This fighting style was employed by the Ryukyu Islands natives, and was later impacted by Chinese
. when Chinese families settled on Okinawa. The karateka comprises of punches, kicks and
deflection techniques. The themes of traditional karate training are both fighting and self-defence,
although the mental and moral aspects target the individuals overall improvement.
Karate was developed in Asia (India, China and Japan) over thousands of years, having countless
martial arts variations and disciplines practiced today. The present day day karate is practiced in
Okinawa, an island located in Japan. This is often traced returning to the late 17th century, when weapons
were banned by samurai rulers of Japan. The earliest written evidence of karate was the word tode
(the Okinawan name for the art). It was through the reference of a Chinese visitor who taught a
type of Kung Fu to the island. The tode style blended utilizing the fighting techinques which has recently been
cultivated regarding the island, known as te (hand). Te was popular in three cities: Shuri, Naha and Tamarai.
Each of these cities had their particular means of doing martial arts and present day styles, including
Shotokan and Shito-ryu (mostly influenced by the city of Shuri). For hundreds of years, experts in
Okinawan martial arts perfected many different combat styles and forms, because of political situations. The
ruling authorities would ban peasants in using weapons every so often, leaving all of them with
items for your home for protection. And also this contributes to the introduction of martial arts across Asia,
associated with how karate is practiced without weaponry.
A person named Funakoshi Gichin is credited for carrying karate beyond its geographical roots, by
bringing the elements of Okinawan fighting styles plus the combat process to mainland Japan, that
progressively reached the remainder world. He brought karate to Japan in 1922, and it is seen and
respected due to the fact father of modern karate. If karate must be described in one sentence, Funakoshi’s
maxim will be the the most suitable: “You never attack first in karate.”
Today, karate is practiced by millions of people worldwide. Nowadays there are four main types of karate in
Japan: Shotokan, Goju-ryu, Shito-ryu, and Wado-ryu. Karatekas wear a white, loose-fitting outfit
called a gi, consisting of pants and a jacket that is closed with a belt. The belt’s colour indicates the
karateka’s skill level (kyu). This will probably differ from different styles and teachings of Karate.

The Shotokan Karate International Melbourne could be the recognized network of martial arts
in Aussie-land. The organisation has close 5 teams, with more than 475 members, which makes it certainly one of
the biggest Australian fighting techniques relationships.
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martial art was in 1963, anytime his associates heard of a new brawling craft actually unveiled into denmark.
Sensei Legend practiced five to 6 times each week, and scoring him a large fortune by receiving the
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as a professional, and/or went along to Kyoto to review his teacher permit in the age of 23. Sensei Caden
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The part of a Trademark solicitor in defending Intellectual Property.

Intellectual property is an essential element of any small business, since it represents the initial and initial projects, ideas, and conception of a business. This may entail trademarks, patents, copyrights, as well as trade keys. Due to the fact world of business will continue to progress and mature, it becomes significantly necessary for organizations to guard their intellectual property and make certain it is not infringed about by other people. That is where the character of a trademark representative ends up being important.

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32 Michaelsnami:

Offering your home for cash and turning residences for profit may be a powerful way to generate income within the housing market, nonetheless it requires careful planning and preparation. By using the proper strategies, it is possible to raise your odds of success and work out a substantial profit. In this specific article, we shall talk about in more detail the steps you'll want to decide to try sell your home for cash fast and flip houses for profit.

Determine the marketplace worth of your home: Before you market your home for cash, it is vital to determine its market value. This may offer you a sense of simply how much you ought to sell your property for and can help you create informed decisions through the process. There are many approaches to determine the marketplace worth of your property, incorporating hiring a specialist authenticator, comparing your house to similar properties in the region which have sold recently, and using online tools such as for example .

Price your property correctly: after you have determined the marketplace worth of your house, you need to price it appropriately. If you pricing it too low, you are going to lose cash, if you price it way too high, it could take a long time to market. In order to avoid this, be sure to set an aggressive price this is certainly in line aided by the latest marketplace circumstances. You may want to ask an agent for his or her opinion regarding the best price for your house.

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33 Williamhig:

Drunk driving is a critical crime and certainly will lead to very bad penalties, incorporating jailhouse time, charges, plus a criminal record. In the event that you or a loved one has been charged with drunk driving, it is vital to take into account having a criminal DUI attorney at law. In this essay, we shall discuss the advantages of choosing a criminal DUI attorney in court.

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Sentencing Alternatives: DUI attorneys can negotiate for alternative sentences, such as for instance community service or drug abuse programs, instead of jail time. This will provide an even more favorable result for your needs and will assist you to prevent the stigma of experiencing a criminal history.

Court Experience: DUI attorneys have extensive expertise in court as they are knowledgeable about court procedures and protocols. They understand how to debate efficiently for you and that can provide a good defense. This will probably increase your odds of a good end result.

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Speaking English is an invaluable competency that prepares many markets for confidential and specialist advancement. Because of the rise associated with the internet, it is currently possible to master English online for free through online courses. These curriculum give a effortless and reachable means for visitors to produce their English language skills and never have to pay money for training courses or text book. In this specific article, we shall talk about the great things about learning English online at no cost through on the web program.

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The significance of Water plus fungus minimization with Drywall Repair in Dana Point, CA

Water damage and mold and mildew emergence might have serious consequences for residence owners in Dana Point, CA. From damaging the dwelling of the property to which affects the health insurance and well-being associated with residents, it is vital to deal with these problems rapidly. The proper water and bacteria extenuation with drywall repair is really important in preventing water damage and mold and making sure the long life of the house.

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