Just because

Just because my harsh words to you were spoken in anger
doesn’t mean my world of soft words for you weren’t true.
Just because I know I’ll never be significant to you
doesn’t mean my heart isn’t still aching for you.

I wish you understood
I know I didn’t help
I know what I said hurt you
and I hate that
but you broke me so many times
every word, now,
is dragged over broken glass

Just because I made sure you won’t speak to me again
doesn’t mean I don’t wish we still could.
Just because I finally got angry enough to say everything
doesn’t mean I’m not empty without you.

I wish you understood
how much you hurt me
what I went through
just for a glimpse of you
how sick it made me
how I hated myself for it
because I can never hate you

Just because I finally decided to tell you how wrong you’ve been
doesn’t mean I don’t miss your rare moments of affection.
Just because you repeatedly broke my heart into pieces
doesn’t mean your name isn’t still written all over them.

I wish you understood
my options were always
between telling you
how you made me feel,
losing you forever,
or saying only the careful things
because you were always so ready to bolt

Just because you left me so terribly empty inside
doesn’t mean I don’t still wish I could be filled by you.
Just because I can’t let myself be hurt by you anymore,
doesn’t mean I don’t still smile sometimes when i think of you.

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