My empty heart's not beating
i've lost the will to live
i feel so lonely, i feel so lost
i have nothing left to give

i'm hurting very badly
i'm trying to find my way
and because i am all alone
the pain won't go away

i'm trying to get through this
i'm trying to survive
but every lonely step i take
the truth i realize

i'm yearning to go home now
i'm tryin to endure
and yet the lesson that i learn
just hurts me more and more

the truth that i've been hiding
it seeps out of my broken heart
and loneliness devours me
i'm being torn apart

it seems this world does not like me
i'll never find my paradise
i look, aware that i'm empty
i'll never make it through this life

the road reveals no future
it just repeats the painful past
i knew i wouldn't make it far
i knew i wouldn't last

i'm trying to be hidden
pretend no one can see my heart
the black thing that devoured me
-- it's tearing me apart...

Soldier's Silent Night

Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone,
In a one-bedroom house made of plaster & stone.
I had come down the chimney with presents to give
and to see just who in this dwelling did live.

I looked all around a strange sight to see,
No tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.
No stockings on the mantel just boots filled with sand,
On the wall hung pictures of far distant lands.

With medals and badges, awards of every kind
A sobering thought came alive in my mind.
This house was different, it was dark, it was dreary,
I had found the home of a soldier, I could see that most clearly.

The soldier lay sleeping silent, alone.
Curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home.

His face was so gentle, the room in such disorder.
Not at all how I pictured a soldier.
Was this the hero of whom Id just read?
Curled up on a poncho, a floor for a bed?

Then I realized the other families that I saw this night
Owed their lives to soldiers who were willing to fight.

In the morning around the world, children would play,
grownups would celebrate a bright Christmas day.
But they all enjoyed freedom each month of the year,
Because of soldiers like the one lying here.

I couldnt help but wonder how many lay alone
on a cold Christmas Eve in lands far from home.
The very thought brought a tear to my eye,
I dropped to my knees and started to cry.

The soldier awakened and I heard his rough voice,
"Santa dont cry, this life is my choice;
I fight for freedom, I dont ask for more,
my life is my God, my country, my Corps."

The soldier rolled over and drifted to sleep,
but I couldnt control it, I continued to weep.
I kept watch for hours, so silent and still,
as both of us shivered from the cold nights chill.

I didnt want to leave him on that cold dark night,
this guardian of honor so willing to fight.

Then the soldier rolled over, with a voice soft and pure,
he whispered "Carry on Santa, its Christmas Day, all is secure."
One look at my watch, and I knew he was right,
Merry Christmas my friend, may god bless you this night!


Jag är en bok med ofärdiga kapitel
jag är en saga som ingen annan
sagan som skapas av mitt liv

jag kommer leva och vandra
se och höra, sällsamma ting
älska, hata och gråta

känna mig upprymd och leka med tankar
skapa ting som ingen annan
se på världen som ingen annan

allt kommer skrivas ner
på sidor i sagoboken
sagan om mitt liv

många har sina sagor
som flätas med min
och kanske de kommer minnas mig

önskar just nu bara
att någon ville läsa min saga
läsa den och skapa den med mig

väva samman sin saga med min
och rikligt läsa min bok
och älska den sagan för vad den är

sagan som är jag
mina handligar mina drömmar
min vilja, mina bakgrund mitt liv

men just nu skriver jag bara början
så mycket kvar att skriva
så mycket på så lite tid

när jag är borta och min saga är skriven
skulle jag vilja att någon en dag läste den högt
läste den för andra och berättade sagan

om pojken som blev man
som sedan blev gammal
och sedan tynade bort och dog

berätta min saga och dela mitt gångna liv
låt de få veta de ting jag aldrig sade
de hemligheter jag aldrig vågade yppa

låt de få se min smärta och min lycka
låt de få se mina önskningar
låt de få minnas mig från en tid

en tid då livet var mitt
framtiden mina möjligheter
och dåtiden kapitlen i min bok